my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
