Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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