My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
