a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
