There is too much vodka and too much dick.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So squirting runs in the family.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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