READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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