whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
