I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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