Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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