O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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