so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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