I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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