oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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