I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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