It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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