I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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