The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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