He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
