you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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