Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize