Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I supernannyed him into submission
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize