new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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