I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can't turn off my feet"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
