if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Couch. On fire.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
