I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
