On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
