bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
