I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
