Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
