you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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