i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
