Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
