so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
