I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
