she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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