walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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