Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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