Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
