I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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