Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize