its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
kristin has been a bad kristin
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
