he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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