O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize