he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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