What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
