I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
