she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
