suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
