Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize