my mouth tastes like poor choices
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
