if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize