She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So much rum. So many feels.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
