Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
