the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
