I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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