OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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