Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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