I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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