just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
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