Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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